Sunday, January 5, 2014

Winter 2013

 "Oh, hey. I'm pretty cute, cuddle me? If not, I'll turn on you!"


 "I'm a model. Take photos, now!"


 Festive, festive.


 Planning to take over the world.



Shiny!

Whoaaa! New Year! 2014

Merry New Year!!

2014! Any resolutions? Mine? Work harder, but then again, I have already started that!

Winter break 2013!

  • went to London, ON.
  • had a stressful Xmas day.
    • but got some phenomenal gifts!
        • camera
        • art kits
        • reading lights
        • sim city <3
        • quirky, cute things
  • Worked three shifts out of 18 or so days off from school -.-
  • Got let down a few times... but I'll get into that on the other blog.. too much crap to type here. (:
  • Watched Sherlock..like..everyday :$
  • worked on assignments due two weeks from tomorrow :D I completed one of them!! WOOT Kicking procrastination's ass! >:D

Christmas.. just another day out of the 365 days, but one that is spent with family <3

Oh! I got an opportunity to have some of my artwork displayed in a public building :DD AMAZING. Life is great <3 

Look beyond the negative, look beyond your imperfections, and only be you <3

Merry New Year!

xox.
Behindwords.


Monday, July 8, 2013

MORE PHOTOS THAT I TOOK

Books are my escape, they are my getaway. They are my alternate reality. 
They are my life. <3


Criminal Minds!!! :DDD
Latest obsession! Don't judge!!! 


 WOO.
Sims! Alternate reality to the max!!!
:DDD


 RAWR.
i.see.you.

probably my most favourite photo I have ever taken.. at least one of them.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

..

When I'm with you, I'll make every second count because I miss you...

who?
-Dad.
-Mom.
-Brother.
-My friends
-Myself.

Why?
I lose more and more each day. It's another day I don't see them. I haven't seen my dad in almost 10 years, 11/27/03, r.i.p. <3. My mom is too much of an alcoholic, and I have to go check on her.. My brother has weird hours for his job, and has a family of his own. My friends, they're working, I'm working, our schedules don't work together. Myself? I've lost myself a few times, and I'm on the road to ... re-create myself. After all, life is about creating yourself, not finding yourself.


Photo's that I took.. I think they turned out alright... I guess.










Friday, July 5, 2013

...

Things to Do.. New Routine..


  • wake- up
  • jog
  • shower
  • eat
  • go to work
  • work
  • come home
  • clean up
  • start dinner
  • jog
  • eat
  • relax
  • sleep
  • REPEAT.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Another Day, Another Lie.

 
Lies. I speak of them everyday. 
What are my most common lies?
-I'm okay.
-I was going to do that!
-I'm fine!
-No, I feel stable.
-I'm happy
-I'm excited!

I'm not okay, I don't feel stable. Today, these past few weeks, I feel like I'm breaking, falling apart. At least with school I could get away. Yes, I am working, but I'm not working as much as I would like to be because I don't get scheduled enough! I just wish that I could smile and it not be a fake one. I wish I could look at my family and not feel like they're judging me. I wish I could look in the mirror and not want to shatter it. I wish I could actually tell my psychologist how I'm really feeling.

I feel like I'm wasting everybody's time. I feel like I'm wasting my time.. I felt better yesterday, like, almost happy, y'know? But, today, there was a giant argument between a member of my family and myself, and the worst feeling you can ever feel is that you disappointed them, and get that guilty feeling in your gut because of your choices. When my family is mad at a decision I make, they make sure to bring up every little bad thing of my past and add it, then shove me even further down into the hole I'm trying to get out of. 

I want help. I can reach out. I can't speak.

One more day, another lie to tell.